Did you know that today is National Honesty Day?
(Really, who comes up with all these days?)
This morning I was poking around Facebook and stumbled across a discussion on Moore Organized Mayhem about the delicate balance of having a sailor’s mouth and being a mom.
Poor sailor moms. That must be tough.
Unfortunately, for those of you who are non-cussers, I cuss a lot.
I think it’s because I live in west Texas where it’s windy and dusty and really windy with really hot and dusty wind.
That’s enough to stir up some choice words, right?
Growing up, we were a “shit” and “damn” kind of household meaning those were acceptable words for releasing frustration. My sisters and I also liked calling each other “butthead” because every kid who watched The Wonder Years called their siblings “butthead.”
Now, had we been homeschooled or something, these three words would have been the entirety of our cussing repertoire.
But we went to public school.
And at public school…there was SUSANNA.
Susanna was what moms (sailor or non-sailor) would call A BAD INFLUENCE.
Susanna was in 4th grade and knew ALL the curse words. (Maybe even the “F” word!)
Susanna stole supplies from school.
Susanna pilfered through the mailboxes in our neighborhood.
Susanna said nasty things.
Susanna was NOT to be imitated.
One morning, as I entered the playground off the school bus, I passed by Susanna just as she was saying:
So I called him a pencil dick.
Girls said the “D” word??
I was shocked, appalled…impressed.
However, I knew that the “D” word was off limits and that the words “pencil ‘D'” could land me in a lot of trouble should I ever repeat it.
….and yet, who could pass up such a deliciously naughty phrase? Such words were precious fightin’ words that must be stored away for safe keeping.
So a few days later, while in the middle of an argument with my sister, I felt it was due time to yell in her face:
Of course, when Susanna uttered this phrase aloud for all the world to hear, she faced no consequences.
But when I said it to one person in the privacy of my own home, I was tattled on and received a spanking.
Unfortunately, as much as I hated spankings, this one did not teach me the lesson it was intended for.
Instead, I went on to discover new curse words. Most of them I didn’t (still don’t?) understand, but I still use them.
So there you have it. It’s National Honesty Day.
No. As a matter of fact I don’t know whatever became of Susanna.