I’m out of my league. I’m uncomfortable. I’m doing it anyway.
That’s the price for following our dreams, wouldn’t you agree?
A couple months ago, after experiencing a bit of internal crisis, I decided it was time to step out of my league and pursue some longstanding dreams of mine. If I’m being honest, I didn’t want to share all of this with you today because who wants to read about someone else’s dreams? However, if I can inspire one person to JUST DO IT!, then it was worth becoming a blah-blah-blog for a day. 🙂
Dream Numero Uno:
Write a cookbook.
There’s no time like the present for me to start. Key word being “start.” Intimidating word being “finish.” After all, I’m finding that writing ANY book is like eating an elephant; you can only do it a little piece at a time. With that said…how long will it take me to eat this elephant? A year or two…I hope? Inspired by all of summer’s bounty, I cooked up some jam and photographed it a couple weeks ago. My first recipe for the book! You’d think that after that small victory I’d be on a roll. Instead, I’ve been avoiding the work ever since. Why? Because what if this jar of peach jam is not the BEST peach jam I can make? What if all those photos I snapped of said peach jam aren’t the BEST photos I can take? What if I just spent all afternoon working on second rate, poorly lit jam? I don’t have time to do my best only for it to turn out second rate.
Do you do this, too? Put off a goal until you know the journey can be more perfect/ideal? “I’ll start on Monday because it’s the beginning of the week,” we bargain with ourselves. Or “I’ll start on the weekend.” Or “I’ll start once I’ve lost weight/the kids grow up/I retire.”
Why face the uncomfortable situation of creating something new when it’s much safer to finish an entire season of Netflix shows? I can always find time to browse the Facebook feed, but how on earth will I find the time to work on a cookbook?? 😉
This cookbook isn’t my only iron in the fire, either. In fact, I’m like The Little Mermaid when it comes to irons in the fire:
You want irons in the fire? I’ve got plenty. But who cares, no big deal, I want morrrrrrre!
Dream Numero Dos:
Another life pursuit I’m finally stepping into is modeling.
I’ve wanted to model ever since I can remember. The desire started in kindergarten when our mall hosted a back-to-school fashion show. To walk down a stage wearing all those pretty clothes–yes, please! Unfortunately, the mall was too far away to go back and forth for rehearsals. In high school, the desire was still there but I outweighed all of the models in my magazines by 50 pounds. Even if I starved myself (which is next to impossible for a foodie) I’d still be too big for industry standards. By the time I graduated college, the dream still lingered but I quieted the whispers by telling them that modeling was an ostentatious pursuit. And in my 30’s, when the hope still had not gone away, I decided that at my age and stature, I’d have to become famous before a scout or magazine would hand me their card.
Then, earlier this year, it was time to stop thinking up reasons not to pursue modeling. I was waiting on a scout but maybe it was time I become my own damn scout! And so, next weekend I will meet with a photographer and make-up artist to start building my portfolio. I have no idea what I’m getting into and the out-of-my-league feelings are banging at the door, but guess what? The desire will keep banging louder in return if I don’t at least put myself out there and TRY! I’m doing it anyway despite how much I love food, how crappy my nailbeds are, how many scabs and bruises are currently on my legs, how big my boobs are, how thick my waist is….
Dream Numero Tres:
Travel, travel, travel.
It’s why I chose geology as my first major. Once I discovered that geology is mostly travel to oil-rich deserts, I switched to education. You know…so I could travel to far away lands and teach English. So much for all that. Any other George Baileys out there who just want to shake the dust off this town and see the world? Amazingly enough, opportunities for travel have been popping up everywhere lately, and I’m not saying no! (Remember, I’m Ariel)
In August, I head to Atlanta for my first major blog conference called Haven. I’ve got so much to do in preparation, and it’s a golden opportunity for me to go all Mrs. Smith and start comparing myself to the other bloggers who will be attending. Haven is predominately a DIY/Home/Garden conference, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be forced to become an expert on power tools by the time I leave. What the hell am I doing?? I should be focusing on cookbook writing, not expensive conferences where I might chop off an arm! *wheeze wheeze*
Next, I’ll be traveling to New Mexico (and maybe Arizona?) in September to see if I can convince friends and family members to share their deeply guarded recipes AND let me take photos of them in their kitchens for the book. What the hell am I doing?? What if no one says yes?? *wheeze wheeze wheeze*
Finally, I’m traveling to Slovenia, Croatia and Italy for two weeks in the fall. Again, what the hell am I doing?? I work for myself and if Mrs. Smith no worky, Mrs. Smith no get paid!
In the meantime, I’ll be squeezing in blogging, working, doing laundry, brushing my cats and staying on top of my unibrow.
I’m tired…but not as exhausted as I’d be from sitting around doing nothing.
So there you have it.
I’m out of my league.
And doggone it, I’m doing it anyway.
Which desires do you have that only get stronger as the days pass?