The one attraction I was most excited to visit in Boerne, Texas was the farmer’s market. With visions of jams, honeys and cases of peaches dancing in our heads, Mr. Smith and I headed out early to the town plaza….only to discover it completely deserted. Apparently, the farmer’s market was only held one Saturday a month and we were one week too late.
I was crestfallen.
No jams! No honeys! No peaches!
It was a sad, sad moment.
The only thing left to do was look around one of the few antique stores that were open at that hour. If anything, Mr. Smith and I had planned on buying each other a knickknack from the trip so here was our opportunity to shop.
Mopey and pitiful, I wandered half-heartedly around the store until I came upon this:
I couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry.
It’s hard to know how to feel when you are in the presence of doll head propped on a stand. The most disturbing thing about the doll head, however, was not its drunken, heavy-lidded eyes or lack of body. It was the fact that somebody actually had the idea to try and sell it.
Who in their right mind would purchase a creepy-ass doll head?
Unfortunately, I didn’t check the price tag because checking the price tag would mean I would have to touch the creature.
After snapping a quick picture as proof that such a thing existed, I got the heck away only to stumble upon this sight two seconds later:
The booth looked like a murder scene. This poor creepy-ass doll look like she was strangled from behind.
Now I couldn’t decide which was creepier: the drunk doll head or the murder victim.
In the end, I decided that this evil waiter had them both beat:
What’s more creepy than a creepy-ass doll?
A creepy-ass naked doll!
Not only is this doll naked, it’s eyes are suspiciously looking off to one side which tells me that when this doll grows up, it will become a streaker.
No comment on this one.
This clown is smiling.
Because he has figured out a clever way to murder me in my sleep.
Oh, but I’ve saved the strangest for last, people. The most creepy-ass thing you have ever laid eyes on. You can turn back now. You’ve been warned…..
Whenever I look upon these pale, slender hand stumps, I am reminded of a Freddy Krueger episode involving a pizzeria, a blender and red-tipped ladies’ fingers. (shudder) And that’s all I’m gonna say about that.
In the end, Mr. Smith and I had a successful shopping trip despite all of the creepy company.
I found Mr. Smith an old pipe, and he found me a sweet little cup and saucer set.
All’s well that ends well.
If, for some reason, you want to see more creepy-ass dolls, check out this book by Stacey Leigh Brooks entitled: