Now that I am back from my two week hiatus, I feel the urge to share the Gospel:
“Go ye therefore and make disciples of all cooks, teaching them all I have commanded ye concerning Western Burgers and surely Western Burgers shall be eaten always to the very end of the age.” –Matthew 28:16-20 (Roughly Translated Version)
Even though my Momma bore five VERY different children, my brothers and sisters all have this in common:
WE LOVE WESTERN BURGERS!!
So…what the heck is a “Western Burger” you ask?
Well, lemme start from the beginning….
In the beginning, my Grandma was the food director for the local school district. One day, Grandma came across a recipe titled “Western Burger” which was essentially a heap of seasoned ground hamburger wrapped in dough and baked. Appreciating the simplicity and efficiency of the dish, Grandma promptly incorporated them into the school menu.
Since my Momma was in high school around the time of my Grandma’s decision, she was, in turn, one of the many students who were served a “Western Burger” for lunch that year.
Unfortunately, she thought they tasted dry and bland. Nevertheless, since Momma like the concept of the dish, she began experimenting with the Western Burger idea at home. She found that adding tomato sauce and Worcestershire sauce to the ground beef made it more moist and flavorful and that yeast dough was softer and more appealing.
Thirty years later, my Momma is still making Western Burgers and her children still request them when they come home to visit.
As for the school cafeteria, I think they stopped serving Western Burgers.
As for the rest of the world, they remain uninformed about the potential awesomeness 0f Western Burgers.
As for me, I have decided to share the good news of Western Burgers with you today!
You owe me BIG time for this, just so you know.
In a bowl, sprinkle yeast over 1/4 cup of very warm water. Stir to mix and set aside for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, melt 3 Tablespoons shortening in 1 cup of hot water or milk.
In a large bowl, combine 1 1/12 cups of flour, 3 Tablespoons sugar and 1 teaspoon salt.
By now, your yeast should look like a small science experiment.
Dump the yeast mixture and the shortening/liquid mixture into the flour mixture and give a hearty stir.
Once the mixture is well incorporated, add 1 cup of flour at a time until the dough becomes stiff.
Cook’s Note: Depending on how dry the air is, you may need to add a little more or a little less flour.
When your dough forms into a ball as you stir it, dump it out onto the counter.
Now it’s time to knead!
First, I pull up the top corner of the dough.
Then, I fold it over to meet the edge.
Next, I press away and into the dough with my great big man-hand.
Finally, I rotate the dough and repeat the process over and over for about 8-10 minutes until dough springs back when poked. If the dough begins to stick, add a dusting of flour as needed.
Place dough in a greased bowl, turning to coat. Cover bowl with a towel and set in a warm, draft-free area. Allow to rise for 1 hour or until doubled in size. Punch dough in and divide into twelve balls.
While dough is rising, prepare the meat filling…..
This filling has similar flavors and textures to a Sloppy Joe only not as sloppy or tangy or tomato-y. Feel free to experiment with your own flavors, though!
Add 1 pound ground beef, 1 small chopped onion, a Tablespoon diced bell pepper, 2 minced garlic cloves, and 2 teaspoons Montreal Steak Seasoning to a large skillet and saute over medium-high, stirring occasionally.
Add 2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauceand 1 small can tomato sauce and simmer for 5-7 minutes over medium heat. Allow mixture to cool slightly before assembling burgers.
Take one dough ball and roll it into a circle about the length of your beefy man-hand.
Cook’s Note: When rolling out the dough circle, continue to flip the dough circle over after every couple of rolls. This helps it maintain its stretched-out form.
Next, add a couple tablespoons of cheese. I used Colby Jack, but Momma typically uses American cheese. In the end, I think I should have used American cheese, too, because it melts better and has a smoother texture.
Next, top cheese with about 1/4 cup of the meat mixture.
This next part is important so pay attention: Bring two sides of the dough circle up and pinch ends together. Next, bring the opposite sides together and pinch until you have a small bundle that looks similar to this:
Place the bundle seam-side down on a greased cookie sheet.
Bake burgers at 375 degrees 15-20 minutes until the tops are golden.
I prepared these lovely specimens this weekend in the home of my wonderful friend, Kelly.
Then I served these lovely specimens to my wonderful friend, Kelly, and her family.
Little did I know that across the state, Momma was preparing these lovely specimens, too!
I think this is your sign from God, folks.
And the sign reads: Eat More Western Burgers!
Western Burgers? GOOD!!!