All I wanted to do was take a shower.
Just one measly shower to wash away the sweat and grime that I had acquired during move-in day.
But when your plumbing has more holes in it than a piece of Swiss cheese, it is recommended that one not turn the water on.
We had purchased our fixer-upper knowing full well that the plumbing was sub par, but we figured we could at least get a couple month’s use out of it before having to replace it.
In the end, “some” use was about all we got. I could go into detail about the circles Mr. Smith ran in trying to keep the pipes from leaking OR about the hole he cut in the floor so that he could wiggle under the house to find the leaks OR about all the duct tape he used to seal up the holes, but I won’t.
At his wits end, Mr. Smith finally stopped taping and began calling plumbers. One plumber said that he could do the job in 2 weeks for a WHOLE BUNCH of money. The second plumber said that he could do the job in 1 week for a BUNCH of money. The last guy we called was a friend of a friend who said that he could get the job done in a weekend for just HALF A BUNCH of money.
So we hired the last guy.
His name was Charlie.
His assistant was named Charles.
That’s Charlie on the left and Charles on the right.
When Charlie and Charles arrived, the first thing they did was rip a bunch of holes in our house.
(Try keeping two curious cats out of THIS!)
Lurking in all of these holes was a myriad of Quest piping that, according to Charlie, was no longer on the market. In fact, the product was outlawed due to its long list of flaws and to prove this point, Charlie effortlessly scratched a hole in a piece of our piping with his fingernail!
Charlie and Charles slaved away from the minute the sun was up till long after the sun had set but at last! our plumbing was replaced!
And there was rejoicing (and showering) in the land.
The pile of Quest piping, forever banished from our home, crawled away like an ugly snake.
Thankfully, the guys did not encounter any real snakes during their journeys under our house.
They did, however, find a lot of strange junk:
Like this chair.
I asked Charlie and Charles to keep digging until they found a chest of gold or at least a dinosaur bone, but they said they had to go home.
We did not keep the chair.
And in case you were wondering about our personal hygiene during this whole fiasco, Mr. Smith and I took hot, relaxing showers at our friend’s house down the street.
Thank goodness for friends!